New Divorce Expense

The cost of divorce has just gone up for some. Many types of retirement accounts require special court orders known as Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDROs) to divide up accounts. This has been an expense for some time, usually costing between $300 to $1000 per QDRO. The QDRO rules are in response to federal policy making which recently changed. Previously, retirement plans could not charge for the cost of implementing the QDRO, but under recent policy changes, those costs can be passed on to the account owner. These fees can add additional expenses of hundreds or even thousands of dollars on the cost of dividing retirement plans in a divorce. This is incentive for parties when dividing retirement plans to see if there are ways to cut down on the number of QDROs to equalize retirements. For example, rather than dividing all of the plans equally, it may be better to take an unequal share out of one retirement to equalize all of the plans, thus requiring fewer QDROs and thus fewer attorney fees and fees charged by the retirement plan itself. Additionally, if QDROs are needed, it might be a good idea to include language in the judgment regarding the division of any fees charged by the retirement plan. With increasing costs in transferring retirement assets, good QDRO planning may make it possible to reduce some of those expenditures.

As Children Grow, Court Reviews Parenting Time

The Oregon Court of Appeals’ recent decision in Shelton and Shelton addresses a family’s changing needs after remarriage, relocation, and the passage of time. After the dissolution of their marriage, the parties shared joint custody of their two children, with Mother as the primary residential parent. For eight years, Father enjoyed regular parenting time beginning every Thursday at 5 p.m. and continuing until Saturday evening or Sunday morning. In August 2001, Mother filed for modification, seeking a different parenting schedule. The children were now teenagers involved in various activities, each parent had remarried, and Mother had moved 24 miles away from Father’s residence. Both parties agreed that a modification was warranted to serve their children’s best interests. However, they disagreed on the new schedule.

Father’s appeal challenged the decision reducing his parenting time despite the evaluator’s recommendation that Father continue to have a “large number of overnights” with the children, albeit without a lot of “back and forth.” The trial court, while recognizing that its modified plan would leave Father with fewer overnights, refused to give Father any mid-week overnights, instead granting him alternate weekends and a four hour evening slot every other week. On appeal, Father asserted that his visits should be longer and more frequent. The Court of Appeals agreed, and modified the schedule to provide Father parenting time from Wednesday night to Sunday night every other week, and from Wednesday after school until Thursday morning during the alternate weeks.

When Murphy’s Law Hits:

Plans don’t always turn out the way you think they will. Sometimes they end up better, sometimes worse. Occasionally even the most careful planning takes you to a completely different place than where you thought you would be. Anything can happen. The important thing is that you keep making plans, setting goals and working toward them.

Goal-setting is an art form for which a few simple rules are helpful. Decide what you want and commit to the goals you set. If a goal exists only in your head it is too easy to abandon. Write down your goal in positive terms, construct detailed instructions to carry it out and be sure one goal does not contradict others that you’ve set. Getting your goal “out there” on a piece of paper and/or into the minds of others is a powerful first step toward realization.

Next, be willing to be flexible with your goals. They may not always turn out the way you want. Don’t be so stubborn that you hang onto goals when they are obviously heading toward a detour or even a dead end. Goal-setting can be a powerful and ongoing source of self development provided ... you listen to its message.

The Overlooked Asset

Everyone could benefit from having an additional asset in his or her estate. Social security may be that asset for you. We all dream of being financially comfortable during our “golden years,” and many people overlook their spouse’s social security benefits as a potential stream of income after retirement. Because state courts do not have the authority to dispose of social security benefits, those benefits are not included in the marital estate to be divided in a divorce. Many people are unaware that a divorce does not sever their right to collect social security benefits based on their ex-spouse’s work history.


You may still qualify to receive your ex-spouse’s benefits if:

a) You were married to your ex-spouse for at least ten years; and

b) You have not remarried (or your subsequent marriage has ended); and

c) You are not eligible for an equal or higher benefit on your on social
security record or on someone else’s record.

If you meet each of the criteria listed above, you can receive benefits at age 62. Social security, if it is still in place when you are 62, may provide an additional stream of income. Don’t overlook this potential for additional income as you plan for your financial future.

Choosing a Child Therapist

When parents split up, it causes tremendous emotional upheaval for children. Even if the split is amicable, the dramatic change in the family structure and everyday life of the children can cause confusion, anger, sadness, depression, or other emotional difficulties.

This is where a child counselor can be indispensable in helping a child navigate the rough emotional waters of a parental separation.

Children of divorce often feel conflicted or even disloyal to one or both parents if they discuss their concerns. A good counselor can help them figure out how to do so in a comfortable and constructive fashion. Tips on how to find a counselor:

• Do your homework – get referrals, check references, look at the person’s experience in counseling  children.

• Not everyone who claims to be a counselor is qualified, and not every qualified counselor is a good match for your child.

• Your attorney can help you in the selection of qualified and talented professionals with experience in dealing with children of divorce.

When children are involved in a divorce it is always important to put their needs first. A therapist can help to do this by providing an objective outlet for their feelings.

Beware & Be Aware:

Divorce may be the most emotionally overwhelming time in your life. During this challenging time, it can be hard not to give up and want the whole ordeal to just go away. Your attorney can help you survive your divorce in the best possible manner—and prevent you from making an impulsive decision you may later regret.

Davis v. Davis addressed this very issue. During divorce proceedings, Mrs. Davis was extremely distraught. She thought that if she gave her husband whatever he wanted, the divorce would soon be over. Against her attorney’s advice, Mrs. Davis signed an agreement giving up most of the assets. She later regretted her decision and moved to void the judgment, asserting that she was not mentally competent to sign the agreement.

The Court found that Mrs. Davis was “competent” or legally able to enter the agreement under current Oregon law. In Oregon, competency is determined based on the person’s ability to understand the consequences of the agreement. However, from Davis, a new standard is being reviewed that would test a person’s capacity to make reasonable decisions at the time of an agreement. Simply put, the new standard would surmise if the person was in some way under duress prior to making a decision. Further, the new standard would ascertain whether the opposing party was aware of the person’s inability to make the best decision.

Although the Davis opinion opened the door for a more expansive competency standard, Oregon law remains strict. Like Mrs. Davis, you may want to “get it over with,” but a little distance from the situation can go a long way. It’s best to play it safe and resist the impulse to settle until you’re sure you can live with the decision.

Hey! Where’s My Backpack?

It’s that time again. After a summer of sleeping in and flexible schedules, the alarm clock must once more be set. Whether your child is starting kindergarten or their senior year, getting ready for back to school can be stressful. Below are some suggestions to help both you and your child get off to a good start:

* First,why not take the guessing out of what school supplies your child might need? Check out the school website to see if the teacher has posted required supplies.

* If your child is younger, talk to him or her about what to expect on the first day of school. Be enthusiastic about the coming year. If you are excited and confident, your child will be, too.

* With younger children, saying goodbye can be hard for both parent and child. Acknowledge to your child that it’s hard to say good-bye, and remind them of the fun and exciting day and year that lies ahead. Most importantly, try to hold back your tears until your child is out of sight. After that, go ahead and let them flow!

* Nothing can send your morning routine into a tailspin more than missing socks or the dreaded wail of “What am I going to wear?” Try doing laundry the weekend before and then planning outfits for the week. Doing so will alleviate much of the stress of the hectic school week.

* Make lunches the night before. If your child is older, he or she can do this themselves. Younger children will enjoy helping mom or dad pack their lunch. It’s an activity that you can do together that again saves you time and stress in the morning.

* Finally, on the legal side, remember that if you are paying child support, you cannot deduct from your support obligation costs that you incur for back to school clothing or supplies. Likewise, if you are receiving child support, you cannot expect reimbursement outside of the child support payment for those costs. Of course, this is subject to any written agreements in your support order to the contrary.

Best regards to all the parents and children! We at SK&H wish you the best for a successful school year!